hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
