I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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