my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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