omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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