from now on my penis is your penis
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
