the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
