...so i touched it.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
