Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
