I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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