bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
