did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Congratulations! We have a period
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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