keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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