bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
