remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
