I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
