K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
