Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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