How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
