Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I am puke
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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