i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
