upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
