wat bout pragnant strippers??
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
