we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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