I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
love makes seman taste better
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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