That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
This is my gift to your gina
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
