In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
