I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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