How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
