piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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