i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
