I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
