I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
