remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
