My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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