pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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