and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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