What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Still dying that you shit outside
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
