is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
