Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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