The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
