were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
