There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
