i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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