I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We talked him into tasing himself.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
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