I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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