Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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