Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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