I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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