real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
