"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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