That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
