I'm eating all of the evidence.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
