Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
