She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
