And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
