Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
