Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The uberlube is also flammable
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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