It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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