And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
