i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
