There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
