We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just had sex on a roof
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
