I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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