and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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