Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
