Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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