you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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