How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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