One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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