Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
