She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
