I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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