Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
