Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
