I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
