If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize