haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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