R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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