did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
