i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
