In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
